Deja Vu: Kathleen Parker, again

This Fucking Guy strikes again, the Post's Kathleen Parker reaches into her colostomy bag and pull out a fresh turd!

Just last week, I posted a “This Fucking Guy” on the shitbag at the WaPo, Kathleen Parker, for her shit-take:

This Fucking Guy: Kathleen Parker

Last week, her “fresh” take, if my fresh, you mean fetid and putrid pile of vomit, was that the White House was no place for old men. I tore her a new one, and many of you agreed.

But, she’s back, and now she has “notes”, “Democrats are wrestling with an age-old problem”. I bet you can guess where this is going, and where she’s a lot like some of the Never Trump trash with their ideas for how the Democrats should respond.

Seemingly unrelated news items collided midweek to suggest a possible solution for a vexing problem: President Biden’s age.

Yeah, she leads off with that. My eyes rolled so fucking hard I need to observe concussion protocols. You can guess where this is headed …

Biden’s steady decline the past few years — his stumbles, his search for words, his occasional blank stare — has been impossible to ignore. Such change isn’t a reflection of character; it’s part of the natural order of life, and it isn’t ageist to take note. But Biden and former president Donald Trump, 78, have forced the issue to the forefront of our politics.

Then, she helpfully notes that North Dakota, the one without Mt Rushmore, recently passed a law that imposes an age limit on congress critters, that if you might turn 81 before the term is over, you can’t be a candidate.

Sidebar: That is an awfully convenient number to just pull out of the fucking air.

She seems to finally realize that no, Biden isn’t going to step aside and let someone younger (and more appealing to her and her ilk) take up the mantle.

No, she postulates that what is really holding Biden back is his Veep. In her words, the general population isn’t sure he will live until the end of his second term, but they really really don’t want Kamala Harris to be on deck.

Besides the not-so-subtle racism in this position — widely espoused among the Never Trump cohort — she believes that she has an answer. But first, another bit of Santorum dribbled out of her mouth:

The question now is, how risky would it be for Democrats to replace her? Some worry that a change would jeopardize Black votes. It was never clear, however, that Harris was a draw for Black American voters, even if some Black women celebrated her rise. When she dropped out of the presidential race in 2019, she was polling below Pete Buttigieg in South Carolina.

Yeah, that’s for the “I can’t even” files with a side helping of “I’m not a racist because I have a black friend”.

I really can’t groan enough over this.

So, she offers that perhaps rewarding Harris with a plum Cabinet position would be a good balm for that stinging sensation in Democratic circles. And, really, she should take one for the team.

I’m not alone in suggesting that Biden replace Harris, perhaps in exchange for a key role in his administration. Serving as attorney general at least would be in her wheelhouse. Several alternative candidates have been suggested, including Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Illinois Sen. Tammy Duckworth and, needless to say, Taylor Swift. (Kidding, though her outspoken contempt for Trump isn’t nothing.)

Naturally, she trots out one of the perennial favorites of the Never Trump crowd, Gretchen Whitmer, or ok, I guess Senator Tammy Duckworth.

But wait, there’s more.

In the best imitation of Billy Mays’ pitches, she postulates that perhaps, maybe, Hillary Clinton, who has stepped into supporting and endorsing a candidate in New York is poised for a comeback.

No seriously, Ms. Parker closed with this effluvium of mediocrity:

We are left to speculate about motive, but the effect of Clinton inserting herself into the news cycle is to remind voters that, but for her defeat in 2016, we wouldn’t be stuck in this old-White-men dilemma. She is also reminding people of her relative centrism, her support for Israel and her broadly respected role as secretary of state.

No one has mentioned her as a possible running mate for Biden far as I know, but why not replace Harris with Clinton? At 76, she might want no part of it, but it’s hard to retire when you feel your job isn’t done. If Biden needs to step down, even those who didn’t vote for Clinton would have confidence in her ability to keep the country on track. It’s just a thought, but worse ideas have met with regrettable success.

Are you fucking kidding me? In a much better world, Madame President Clinton would be finishing her second term right now, and Trump would be Abe Simpson tilting at the clouds, telling stories about bees and onions on his belt, because that was the style.

For this incredibly insane and stupid column, Kathleen Parker is my first two times winner of “This Fucking Guy”. She will be commemorated on Mount Douchemore.

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