What I'm Reading: Jeff Tiedrich

A master practitioner of the art of the snark, he's is a gem, and on my "must-read" list.

Apr 23, 2024

I first stumbled across Jeff Tiedrich on Twitter a long time ago, and he was an instant follow. I even tossed a few bucks to support his media site Smirking Chimp.

When I left Twitter for good, I figured I would never see him again. Alas, he is on Substack, and he publishes just about every day, and they are all amazing.

Today’s post is about normal:

everyone is entitled to my own opinion

narcoleptic old dipshit wakes up to stare at pecker

sssh! don’t wake up Donny during his trial. he’s in the middle of a dream. it’s a big, beautiful dream. in fact, it may be the greatest dream of all time. it goes something like this: the real heroes of January 6th — the brave freedom fighters now being unfairly held as hostages — bust out of prison and come to New York, where they stream into the courth…

a year ago · 620 likes · 64 comments · Jeff Tiedrich

I mean, look at that headline, it is just chef’s kiss perfection. Then the AI generated image he leads with:

And here is a sample of his prose:

the real heroes of January 6th — the brave freedom fighters now being unfairly held as hostages — bust out of prison and come to New York, where they stream into the courthouse where that crabby old fuckface Judge Merchan is forcing Donny to listen to mean tweets.
the biggest and strongest of these liberators — really big, really strong men, blinded by the tears of gratitude pooling in their eyes — come up to Trump and say sir! sir! we’re here to take you where you truly belong. they hoist Dear Leader on their shoulders and carry him all the way to Washington DC. they march straight into the White House, where Sleepy Brandon is wandering around in a confused haze.
Trump rears back and punches Sleepy Brandon right in the kisser — pow! take that! — and then strides into the Oval Office to regain his position as God’s Own Emperor Of America For Life.
and then Nancy Haley — or maybe Nikki Pelosi — no! even better: both of them! get sent to prison for a millionty years.

I mean, that is probably what the tangerine turd is thinking when he dozes and farts in court.

If you are not reading him, do go take a gander, and then mash that subscriber button. Your first “This week in stupid” the standing Saturday morning post will be worth the subscription, I promise.