Father Figures are where you find them

It dawns on me that my TV viewing in my tween years was hugely formative. Watching The Rockford Files was a huge benefit to who I am today.

Jim Rockford fishing off a pier

I had someone comment to me that I had a good temperament for managing a diverse team, and that in particularly, the women that I work with and now manage comment that I make them feel welcome and included in the flow without a lot of the usual corporate “sausage fest” drama.

This caused me to think about my male role models growing up.

My father and mother split up when I was about 5 years old, and that led to a rather chaotic few years. We lived with our mother, but odd weekends we visited our father. And whilst on the surface the split was amicable, behind the scenes there was plenty of game playing, and hurt feelings as my mother used her new freedom to “play the field” as a divorcee in the early 1970’s.

Our first stepfather was a disaster. A violent, unpredictable alcoholic who beat the crap out of us, and our mother. He lasted about 4 years before dying of a pulmonary embolism, but in those 4 years, a lot of toxic masculinity was the norm, and it never really sunk in on me.

So, where did I get my fairly well-balanced worldview? Sure, in the late 70’s when my mom remarried a second time, she had found a partner that was actually a decent role model.

But still, I am not sure that was the genesis of my life-long worldview.

Then the other day, I tucked back into one of the TV shows that I started watching in the mid 1970’s, The Rockford Files, and something clicked.

For the uninitiated, Jim Rockford (played by the incomparable James Garner) is an LA based private detective, an ex-con (whose record was wiped clean by the governor, but we never learn the details) who handles cases for clients who are not getting satisfaction from the police.

As I am rewatching the episodes I bought, and ripped to my Plex server, I am viewing Rockford as a stand-up dude, who treats the women in his life with respect, equality, and acknowledges that they are neither fainting flowers, nor incapable of independent actions or thoughts.

He is never a pig to them, and he shows a lot of chivalry and decency, never man-splainin’ or trivializing their concerns.

In short, Jim Rockford is a great male role model. I just happened to get on the train of watching the show in the period of time that it made a difference.

Oh, and even today, nearly 50 years after the original airing, The Rockford Files still slaps. Great show.

$200 a day, plus expenses.

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