Thank you for sharing this, Geoff. Our childhoods sound similar in several ways, with the exception that my parents did not divorce (and maybe they should have; it's hard to see how things could have been worse).
It isn't much (any?) consolation, but whenever I think about my childhood, a line from Rush's "Secret Touch" comes to mind: there is never love without pain.
Thank you for the warning; I may fortify my coffee before opening it.
I'm grateful that I missed out on all that. It arrived in my school district when I was in high school, I think, and they implemented it first in elementary/jr. high.
Circa 2008, I participated in a leadership retreat. I was the only non-director or above person in the retreat.
It started with a week of pre-work, and a session with an "industrial psychologist" and there were deep dives into background, experiences when younger, and then expanded into an honest assessment of the organization, and possible fixes.
Then we got together for 4 days to work as a team to build a plan forward.
Of the 10 or so participants, I was the ONLY one that came from a broken household. I suspect that many "leaders" have similar backgrounds, and have never had that overlay of despair and uncertainty in their formative years, leading to a lot of "prosperity gospel" like behaviors and actions. Just divorced from reality.
(side note: about 9 years later, someone who replaced me reached out via LinkedIn, and we met for coffee. Turns out that almost all of my remedial recommendations were put into place. Huh. Having some chaos in your early years can hone your senses to how to fix dysfunction. Who'd've Thunk it?)
Oh, no doubt about it, but it also has overlaid a pathological work ethic. I have literally cancelled vacation plans at the last minute, forfeiting tickets to events that I planned a lot for, and spent a lot on to address workplace issues.
My 20's and 30's were a black hole where I put in long hours and didn't really benefit from it.
Thank you for sharing this, Geoff. Our childhoods sound similar in several ways, with the exception that my parents did not divorce (and maybe they should have; it's hard to see how things could have been worse).
It isn't much (any?) consolation, but whenever I think about my childhood, a line from Rush's "Secret Touch" comes to mind: there is never love without pain.
Wait until tomorrow's scheduled post on being a "Gifted" child drops ;-)
Thank you for the warning; I may fortify my coffee before opening it.
I'm grateful that I missed out on all that. It arrived in my school district when I was in high school, I think, and they implemented it first in elementary/jr. high.
Circa 2008, I participated in a leadership retreat. I was the only non-director or above person in the retreat.
It started with a week of pre-work, and a session with an "industrial psychologist" and there were deep dives into background, experiences when younger, and then expanded into an honest assessment of the organization, and possible fixes.
Then we got together for 4 days to work as a team to build a plan forward.
Of the 10 or so participants, I was the ONLY one that came from a broken household. I suspect that many "leaders" have similar backgrounds, and have never had that overlay of despair and uncertainty in their formative years, leading to a lot of "prosperity gospel" like behaviors and actions. Just divorced from reality.
(side note: about 9 years later, someone who replaced me reached out via LinkedIn, and we met for coffee. Turns out that almost all of my remedial recommendations were put into place. Huh. Having some chaos in your early years can hone your senses to how to fix dysfunction. Who'd've Thunk it?)
That retreat sounds like pure hell to me. For all I reveal about myself in MotD, it's nothing compared to that.
It is on my list of stories to share on why Product Management newsletter (www.prodbistro.com)
Those difficult years made you the man you are today.
Oh, no doubt about it, but it also has overlaid a pathological work ethic. I have literally cancelled vacation plans at the last minute, forfeiting tickets to events that I planned a lot for, and spent a lot on to address workplace issues.
My 20's and 30's were a black hole where I put in long hours and didn't really benefit from it.
I am not bitter, just sad.