Tesla Drivers

They seem to have drunk the Kool-Ade and reverted to being a speed addled teenager

One of my co-workers just bought a Tesla Model 3. Okay, about a month ago. But I have some thoughts.

First, he gushes over how great it is. What does he like? The instant acceleration. I swear to God that every conversation we have about, well anything, somehow devolves into the neck snapping acceleration.

Seriously, who the fuck cares. I mean, when I was a teenaged high school student, pal-ing around with the autoshop dudes, where they built up muscle cars from the 60’s into fire breathing straight line drag monsters.

But sometime in my late 20’s this fascination with raw acceleration waned, and finally died. It didn’t mean I stopped appreciating fine driving machines. I have owned a couple of RX-7’s and a Honda S2000 and they all were amazing cars.

Nope, it seems that Tesla owners have reverted to that pre-pubescent boy fantasy about how important straight-line acceleration is.

Yawn.

Yet every time I get in someone’s Tesla, they feel compelled to demonstrate the acceleration to me.

But then come the excuses. He still doesn’t know how to turn on the windshield wipers without taking his eyes off the road to use the super-sized¹ iPad unified control interface. Fortunately, we live in California and he has about 5 months before we get any rain, so he has time to figure this out.

He also mentioned that using the Frunk² is a little unnerving, as the hood is pretty thin aluminum, and it flexes a bunch, and doesn’t close easily like say the hood on my Acura. He tells me that you can’t let it drop, as that will not latch it, but that you need to put both hands on it and evenly push it down until it locks.

He didn’t blow the $$$ for the “Full Self Driving” bullshit, but he thinks that in the future Tesla will make that something that can be subscribed to so that he would sub to it for long trips³.

But, what he tells me about charging is even more concerning. He took a weekend trip to Lake Tahoe, and he was gushing about the Tesla Superchargers. They are impressive, and in 30 - 40 minutes they get you to about 80% charged.

That said, a well traveled corridor from the SF Bay Area to Tahoe means that there are a lot of Tesla’s en route to the mountain getaway, and when he stopped to charge, he had to wait for a charger. That added 20 minutes to the recharging.

Of course there are other chargers, level 2 chargers that you mainly find outside of the Tesla network, but they charge a LOT slower. You will spend more than an hour or longer to top up. Oh, and the non-Tesla network of chargers is a balkanized mess, different apps, that you have to register with, enter in your credit card to use. People who have been EV drivers for year will commonly have 5 or more apps to charge.

Back to my colleague, he likes his Tesla, he recognizes that it has warts, and that perhaps the future of Tesla may actually be the charging network. All the major auto makers are rapidly improving their offers, bringing the fight to Tesla and frankly, Tesla’s are getting dated. This is good.

My other problems with Tesla

While I am not a “Right to Repair” absolutist, Tesla is a very closed system. Tesla doesn’t allow small shops or individuals to source parts, or to work on their Tesla. This is just wrong. The forums are awash with Tesla owners whinging about long waits to get service appointments. The vertically integrated service centers is non-tenable long-term. I suspect that the tipping point of the service capacity of the dealer network has passed, and there needs to be other outlets for service. Tesla needs to step up and allow these off-brand service centers to exist with their blessing.

One other issue that is commonly cited is the haphazard fit and finish of Tesla’s “affordable” cars. Door panels that pull away, body sheet metal panels that are poorly fitted, paint that has visible defects like orange-peel needing plenty of detailing to fix.

Another problem is a public policy issue. In the US, our roads are funded (building and maintenance) with the tax on gasoline sales. The Feds get 18.4 cents per gallon, and each state slaps on a tax for the regional transportation projects. Since batter EV’s are heavy (heavier than a comparable ICE vehicle) they arguably cause more wear and tear on the roadways. Today, they get a free ride. Some way for states to generate revenue to cover the building and maintenance of roads is needed. A fee per mile? An annual tax as part of the registration fees? A surcharge at the purchase time to cover the lifetime costs for that vehicle? I am not sure what the best is, but for now, they are untaxed for this use of the commons. That can’t go on forever.

In short, my 2020 Acura RDX gets about 5K miles per year, and it might be the last car I ever buy. It will with care last for 20 years, and frankly, that is probably as long as I will be alive, or able to drive.

I will likely not buy an EV. Perhaps my Wife will want one, but our Rav4 is currently 20 years old, and is still going strong.

1. Seriously, it looks like they just bolted on an oversized iPad into the center of the console and that is ALL the display and controls. Nothing in the eyeline like a normal car. This really fucking bugs me.

2. Because there is no traditional powerplant, the area under the front hood is a storage area, termed colloquially as a “Frunk” a portmanteau of “Front” and “Trunk”

3. This was testing my ability to maintain a poker face.

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