This Fucking Guy: Pastor Robert Morris

Gee, it must be a Wednesday when a creeper evangelical pastor is outed as a child predator and general wad of fuck. This is why I am glad that my parents weren't church-going

This is almost too easy. What do you say, a pastor at a mega-church (over 100K actively participating members) has some hinky behavior in his background? He was tempted by the wiles of a siren in his “yout¹” and had inappropriate contact with a vixen temptress² that he disclosed to his spiritual advisors³.

This all happened back in the 1980’s, but why is he just now being kicked off his perch?

First, the gifted link: “Texas Megachurch Pastor Resigns After Sexual Abuse Allegations” (yeah, the NY Times) in case you want to read along.

It all started innocuously enough⁴…

“When I was in my early twenties, I was involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with a young lady in a home where I was staying,” Mr. Morris, 62, told The Christian Post. “It was kissing and petting and not intercourse, but it was wrong. This behavior happened on several occasions over the next few years.”

Uh, here’s a clue to a sexually repressed douchebag. Anyone who uses “petting” in relation to sexy activities is a creeper, guaran-damn-teed.

Anyhow, when he came clean originally to his clerical advisors, he was less than forthcoming…

Mr. Morris later told The Christian Post that the relationship had been “brought to light” in 1987. He left the church that year to get counseling, at the request of church officials and the girl’s father, he said. In 1989, he returned with their approval.

I mean, who among the horny twenty-something hormone drenched young males who are counseling early and pre-teen girls hasn’t dipped their hand into the honey pot.

But it seems that his early confession was a bit misleading …

“The elders’ prior understanding was that Morris’s extramarital relationship, which he had discussed many times throughout his ministry, was with ‘a young lady’ and not abuse of a 12-year-old child,” the church said. “Even though it occurred many years before Gateway was established, as leaders of the church, we regret that we did not have the information that we now have.”

First, may I observe that that is world class CYA, and a masterclass in deflection.

“Oops, we took this charlatan at his word, and didn’t do a fucking bit of digging to determine if this pinnacle of probity might be shading the truth. Our bad”.

Second, why the fuck didn’t you do any investigation? Seriously, the late 80’s were when plenty of shit was rolling out of the dung heap that is the Roman Catholic Church, that would snowball into ginormous coverups of pederasty and pedophilia in the clergy, that maybe, just maybe the Evangelical megachurches would do some introspection?

Nah, fuck that shit, we (they) are good with hiding malfeasance of our clerical staff as long as they can deliver the donations.

Mr. Morris, who founded the church in 2000, served on a faith advisory council during former President Donald J. Trump’s administration. He hosted Mr. Trump at Gateway Church in June 2020.

Asked about Mr. Morris on Tuesday, a spokesman for Mr. Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign said that the pastor had no role in it.

“President Trump’s broad appeal among faith communities across the country is a testament to his unwavering commitment to upholding faith and the protection of religious liberties,” said the spokesman, Steven Cheung.

Because, of course this human skidmark was part of Trump’s “faith” advisory board. And then there is the final word by the Trump Campaign’s genital wart, Steven Cheung. I swear whenever I see a statement credited by him, it has to have been an utterance by a 3rd rate Chatbot trained on 8Chan, and Kiwifarms.

But what changed the board’s mind? Why did they “accept” Morris’ resignation? Turns out that the victim, now 54, went public, and oops, you can’t just ignore that shit anymore.

The Board of Elders of Gateway Church, based in Dallas, said in a statement that it had accepted Mr. Morris’s resignation. The board said it had hired a law firm to conduct an independent investigation into the abuse allegations made public last week by a woman who is now 54. Mr. Morris could not immediately be reached for comment on Tuesday night.

Yeah, justice is delayed, and this anal fissure will likely be able to sleep comfortably on the millions of dollars he skimmed from the suckers who tithed.

What really pisses me off is that these “elders” and “clergy” live like kings, and are exempt from being taxed, yet I would bet my bottom dollar that from the pulpit they espouse how crucial it is to re-install Trump in the presidency.

And for that level of cognitive dissonance, atrocious behavior to young people in your charge, and getting the fuck away with this mega-hypocrisy for more than 40 years, ex-Pastor Robert Morris is “This Fucking Guy”.

1. Recall Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinnie:

2. Isn’t it ironic how it always is the wily ways of young women (or boys) that trips up these godly Christians?"

3. These spiritual advisors are always pasty white men, who profess loudly about their Christian faith, and then behind the scenes whitewash behavior that would sicken most normal people.

4. If by “innocuous” you mean fucking horrific patriarchal rape-y behavior that should have had him labeled as a creep and kept the fuck away from other humans.

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